5 Easy Ways To Communicate More Effectively As A Couple

Perhaps you and your partner have been struggling to communicate lately. Conversations about problems you’ve been having never seem to end with resolutions. Sometimes, you feel like your partner is barely listening when you bring up something that upsets you. Maybe you’ve ended some tough conversations with regrets about saying something harsh that you couldn’t take back.

But despite your communication troubles, you and your partner do not want to call it quits. You both want to heal what’s been bothering you and move forward in a better direction. Improving your approach to communication is key. Here are a few tips to help you and your partner improve when it comes to communicating.

1. Speak Up Right Away

Your partner did something that hurt your feelings—but you’ve tried to tell yourself that it wasn’t really a big deal. Maybe you’re wondering if you’re actually overreacting. Instead of speaking up, you try to suppress your feelings and hope that you’ll forget about the whole situation. But over time, the incident keeps bothering you, and you can’t help but feel resentful of your partner.

Letting hurt feelings fester is never a good idea. When you’re upset, it’s best to tell your partner right away. That way, you can address the problem head-on. Waiting to speak up will only make the situation worse in the long run.

2. Take A Team Approach

When you and your partner discuss a problem, it can be hard to avoid taking your feelings out on each other. But rather than criticizing each other, try to focus your energies on taking on the problem as a team. Taking this collaborative approach can help you resist the urge to bicker. Instead, you’ll turn your attention towards coming up with real, lasting solutions to the issues you’ve been facing.

3. Stay Present

Maybe your partner has approached you about a problem they want to discuss, or maybe you’ve come to your partner because you’re feeling upset. No matter what you want to talk about, make sure that you’re both truly present for the conversation. Put your phone on silent and keep your attention on your partner. Ensure you have a private space where you can speak honestly, and take as much time as you need to talk. If you seem distracted or need to cut the conversation short for something else, your partner might feel neglected or dismissed.

4. Avoid Placing Blame

On rare occasions, one partner might be entirely at fault for a problem that crops up within your relationship—but this is rarely the case. Instead of trying to place the blame on each other, take this as an opportunity for self-reflection. Even if you’re tempted to pin the issue on your partner, think about how your own actions might have contributed. Chances are, you’ve both made mistakes along the way, and owning up to them can help you come to a place of neutrality.

5. Open Communication Style

When you talk to your partner, watch your body language. It’s not just what you say—it’s how you say it! Nonverbal cues can make you seem defensive when you want to make inroads. For example, crossing your arms across your chest can cause you to come across as guarded rather than open to solving problems. Furthermore, think about how your voice conveys your emotions. Raising your voice can cause your partner to shut down. Both partners should refrain from interrupting—giving each other time to speak is crucial.

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Are you and your partner struggling to communicate? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session in couples counseling.