What is Gaslighting & How Can You Address It
Perhaps you’ve heard the term “gaslighting” before, but you’re not really sure what it means. Or maybe you’re familiar with the concept, and you suspect that a partner, friend, or relative is gaslighting you. Chances are, you’re wondering how to handle this situation. You might be questioning whether your relationship with this person can really heal. Furthermore, you may be trying to figure out how you can learn to trust your own judgment again if you’ve been a victim of gaslighting. Let’s explore what gaslighting means, how you can cope if you’ve been gaslit, and what you can do to move on and restore your sense of trust in yourself.
What Is Gaslighting?
People use the term “gaslighting” very frequently, but what does this word really represent? In a nutshell, “gaslighting” refers to a situation in which one person tries to get someone else to doubt their own version of reality. It often happens within the context of romantic relationships, but gaslighting can also occur between relatives and friends.
How Gaslighting Differs From Lying
It can seem like gaslighting and lying are basically the same thing. But gaslighting goes well beyond a few white lies. For instance, a child who lies to their parents about doing their homework is not gaslighting them. But someone who cheats and then provides a convenient answer for all of their partner’s suspicions while subsequently causing them to doubt everything they found out is gaslighting. Gaslighting is particularly insidious because it pushes the victim to question their own grip on reality as the lies build up over time.
Ending Toxic Relationships
Maybe you’ve realized that someone in your life has been gaslighting you for quite some time. Part of you might hope there’s a way to fix the relationship and move forward. But if you’ve come to the realization that you’re being gaslit, it’s time to walk away from this relationship[2] or create some distance between yourself and the other person if possible. If someone in your family has been gaslighting you, it may be necessary to limit the time you spend with this person, even if you can’t cut ties with them completely. And if your partner has been gaslighting you, the relationship is likely unsalvageable[3] .
Get In Touch With Yourself
Right now, you may be confused about your entire life. If someone you love has been throwing your vision of reality into a tailspin, you might feel like you don’t know what’s true or false anymore. Getting in touch with yourself and practicing grounding exercises is crucial. Journaling is a good idea because it allows you to be honest with yourself and explore how you truly feel. Furthermore, talking to a therapist can help you start defining your own boundaries.
Find Out What Safety Feels Like
Ultimately, realizing that you’ve been gaslit can make you feel unsafe. It will take time to figure out precisely what it means to feel safe in a relationship again. Consider the people in your life who allow you to simply be who you are. Think about those who have been consistently honest and straightforward with you, and reflect on what it feels like when you spend time with them. You should have a sense of calm and contentment when you’re with them and feel comfortable expressing yourself. This is the feeling that all of your relationships should give you.
—
Have past or ongoing incidents of gaslighting caused you to doubt yourself and your relationship? Working with a therapist can help you heal. Reach out to me today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session for trauma therapy.